what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
