Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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