I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
