Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
