Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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