I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
