he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
