Small penises have feelings too.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
