My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
