NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
