I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
