I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
