we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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