the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
