Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize