Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
