Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Randomize
