Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
