oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
