I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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