Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
