@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
