He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize