did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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