Please, let me fuck your mom
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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