I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize