Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
