I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Holy shit dude........stairs
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
