what day is it and did you see me today?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
