She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
