hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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