oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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