But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
