I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
