So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
