Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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