Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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