We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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