theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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