I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
