i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
