I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
