so explain again why im purple
no
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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