Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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