I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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