you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
