I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
