i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
