I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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