as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
