hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
