she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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