it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
