I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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