There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You don't make any sense
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