so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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