she was so not down for the gang bang
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
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I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
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I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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