While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
