i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
